Live Breathe and Die

Where I live, there is a local entertainment newspaper that comes out weekly called the New Times.  It is unquestionably a left wing rag, that offers the guarantee of anti-Christian, anti-Bush, anti-"the man," anti-corporate, anti-police and anti-conservative writings from cover to cover.  It is predictable.  I would guess that I have read three good journalistic articles in the past two years that benefited consumers and did not take cheap shots at one of the aforementioned groups. 

It is a publication that is designed to appeal to those on the left, with articles on recreational drug use, the joys of drunkenness, adultery, alternative lifestyles, strippers, bars, those suppressed by 'the man,' scandals in corporate America, scandals in the Republican Party, police cover-ups and anything else they can invent or extract from urban myth. 

Last week, the May 11th issue of New Times featured a cover story about a local Japanese chef who prepared meals out of domestic pets and animals from the endangered species list.  It was typical of the articles in the weekly, and did not raise suspicion.  As a matter of fact, after reading New Times for an extended period, the article was right in line with the type of oddball people the paper attempts to glamorize.   A slice of the bizarre that appeals to those who favor the bizarre.

The article described the hero chef serving a group of paying customers at a local public mansion a meal of bichon frise, penguins, pygmy owl, bighorn sheep, seal and sparrow. The mansion makes rooms available, at a cost, for private parties.

Reading the article would turn the stomach of most people, but it was certainly in line with other sickening articles featured in New Times over the years and not particularly odd in comparison to the normal fare every week. 

Today, I picked up the May 18th issue of New Times and my eyes were drawn to a small teaser on the front page pointing towards the Letters page.  Interestingly enough, it was a letter from the administrator of the mansion described in the previous weeks issue. He was furious with New Times for the exotic animal delicacy article and the fact that his establishment was mentioned. 

Apparently, since the article appeared the week before, he had received "hundreds of angry phone calls and e-mails from people around the country…."  "One of the phone messages was from a person who promised to burn down the mansion and another threatened the lives of our staff."  "Another phone call was from the Humane Society in Washington D.C. which was receiving hundereds of phone calls."  "In publishing this story, New Times has jeopardized the safety of my staff, and the safety of the Mansion, not to mention the financial loss of revenue from cancelled events." 

The New Times Editor responded, though quite amused at the result of their 'parody.' Yes, you read right, the paper claimed that it was satire and not meant to be believable. The joke was on the readers.  My opinion is that the joke is on the New Times paper.

If the 'exotic/endangered animals as food' story was believed by so many, then if must have been indistinguishable from what is normally published in the paper.  And what is most revealing, is the reaction by the PETA types out there.  They actually threatened to burn down a building and harm other people based on the content of the story.  Their knee-jerk reaction and willingness to "threaten the lives" of the mansion staff point out one reality.  Those on the extreme left put animals lives on a plateau above human life.

The editors response went on to say, "we were trying to poke fun at animal- rights wackos who'd send their turtles to MIT if not the institute's acceptance policy."  And, "don't go burning down the mansion please." 

Understand what has happened here………..the extreme left, in an effort to poke fun at the super extreme left, had underestimated their own extremist views to a point that reality was undistinguishable.  Hysteria and the threat of violence resulted, proving the delusional state that most on the extreme left are perpetually in.  So next time you're tempted to joke about snacking on sea-turtle eggs, think again.  Some maniac who worships Howard Dean has you in his crosshairs.